Thursday, February 23, 2006

I'll Never Be Your Friend

Son of a fucking bitch!!!!! I just finished typing a fan-freaking-tastic post and the damn thing crashes!!!!!!!!!! I hate it when this happens. Now I'm too pissed to re-type it all, but the topic is too big to ignore so I have to just go at it. So the following might be shitty but fuck it and just blame computers for sucking the lives out of us.

Anyway... let's see..........

Eu-freaking-reka (that's how it originally began). That's right I found it. I've expressed before my distaste for the labels 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend'. Today after hearing someone say, "my boyfriend BLAH BLAH BLAH" (I may have misquoted), I realized what bugs me the most about this. It's the 'my'. I don't like how possessive it is. The person you are in a relationship is not yours. It's one thing to refer to a friend as yours but when the boy or girl comes in front of it there is this whole other meaning. So I got to thinking about any possible solutions for this problem, and it hit me.

Instead of "my girlfriend" let's change it to "the girlfriend".

WHOA!!! Did you see what I did? By switching the 'my' with 'the' I totally solved our little problem. The possession is gone but the heart of the meaning is in tact.

But how do we know the girlfriend you refer to is the person with whom you are in a relationship? What if we want to refer to John's girlfriend?"

It's all about context. That's right. You're actually going to have to listen to the words being said and put them into a proper meaning as it relates to the whole. It's easy. Here are some examples:

"I have to go buy a present. Tomorrow is the girlfriend's birthday."

"John can't make it to watch the game. The girlfriend has him whipped."

"How's the boyfriend doing?"

Doesn't seem too confusing does it? I'm sure there could be instances where it might not be too clear as to who the girl/boyfriend is (especially in writing when it's hard to express varying levels of tone) but just look deeper into the context and you should be able to figure it out. I have faith. This is going to work. In fact, I'm starting the movement right now. Don't be surprised if you start hearing this in effect.........

Oh and it also works for exes. "The ex is a bitch" (By the way don't ever say that. It might come back to bite you in the ass. Keep your bad feelings for the ex private. Trust me.)

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Got to disagree with you. There is no difference between my friend and my girlfriend/boyfriend.
All my indicates is that the person is your friend or your boyfriend/girlfriend.
If someone says someone is their boyfriend/girlfriend, all they mean is to indicate they are in a relationship with that person, not ownership.
The boyfriend/girlfriend is just confusing and impersonal.
If a guy seriously said, "This is the girlfriend," it sucks all the life out of the phrase and makes it sound like he doesn't even like the girlfriend.
Really, I think your problem..i'm sorry, the problem is something else.
No, not fear of relationships.
It's a case of being so independent that you don't even like it if someone referred to you as their boyfriend.
Final thought:
Would you refer to your mom as "my mom" or "the mom" and if you had a child, would you call it "the child", or "my child"?

8:29 PM, February 23, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

haha, ok, now I want to hear what you say about pet names... (ie. "honey", "babe", "sweetie", :love muffin"...)

8:24 AM, February 24, 2006  

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