You And I Have Unfinished Business.

And here we go…

NEVER GO AFTER A FRIEND’S SISTER

Okay, so this one can be a big deal or it can be nothing at all. The main problem with going after a friend’s sister is the friend knows you. He knows all the not so good things about you and how you may treat women so he might not exactly be too happy about you going after his sister. Another problem is what happens if you do end up hurting the girl. He has to not like you afterwards, and may even want to kick your ass.

Now of course there are huge exceptions to this rule. If you are totally into this chick and have the best intentions, most guys will be able to understand that. Also, if you’re morally a better guy than your friend, well he really can’t say anything about you going after his sister. I think a good thing to do would be to place yourself in your friends shoes. “If I were him would I want me dating her?”

It never hurts to ask your friend.

See guys with sisters have two groups of friends. One being “Friends that I’d kill if he came close to my sister,” and the other “He’s a good guy and would treat her well.”
And it depends on the guy. Like I have friends who would definitely hate it if I broke this rule, but I also have friends who would think it would be great. The thing is I don’t ever see me breaking this one because A) For some reason the people who are closest to me (I actually just thought about this, and it’s been true for most of my life, and it includes friends as well as chicks I dig) are mostly the youngest sibling or only child, with the exception of one who’s family is really a part of mine so that would just be incest (gross), and B) I sort of want to be with chicks who are totally separate from my circle of friends.

Oh, and if I had a little sister I only really have one friend I would never let close to her. HAHA some of you know who that is, and are thinking, “Yeah, I’d kill him.”

Anyway, enough of that!! On to other things…

So I thought about something recently (due to the song, “Go On” by The Elected). If you totally ridiculously wanted someone, and they were getting married to someone else, would you want to go to the wedding? If you pay any attention to what I write on here, you could probably guess my answer would be yes. See, I wouldn’t want to go to try to ruin it or anything. I would just want to see it happen. It would suck up down and all around, but I’d still want to see it happen.

And I would play it cool. Like it didn’t bother me at all, because fuck that shit, I’m fine. We’d have our little moment though; the bride and I. She’d be sitting there at the table next to her groom, and I’d be at the back of the room eating steak, because who in the hell picks the chicken, then she’d spot me and we would make eye contact. My eyes would say, “I wish you didn’t just do that,” and hers would say, “Did I make a mistake,” but that would be the end of that. I’d leave and never hear from her again, until after she got a divorce and I’m engaged to someone else. Then it’d be a whole new beginning to another fucked up story.

So of course I’d want to go.

And before I end this…

Bonsai, Pat Morita, BONSAI!!!

Random Thoughts - Viva Las Vegas Edition

So much I want to talk about and I don't really feel like going into a huge review of the Comedy Festival in Vegas so I'm going to random thought it up...

Dave Chappelle was freaking awesome. He was the highlight of the festival.....Family Guy Live In Vegas is up there too......There are way too many golddiggers in Vegas.......Another answer to the whole figuring out things/going for a relationship deal that came to my fantastic mind...If something big and exciting is happening in your life (like maybe you are finally figuring things out) and you think to yourself that a certain somebody should be there to share it with you, I think you should really consider trying to have that person there.....Oh, and shame on me for not mentioning this a very long time ago, but Scrubs Season Two is now available on DVD so go get it NOW........How is it possible that I was in Vegas and I didn't go see the Manilow?......Will the Angels make a move already?.........."You're the best around. Nothing's ever going to keep you down!!"......Hey, it's the 80's.........."I am a man who will fight for your honor. I'll be the hero you'll be dreaming of. We'll live forever growing together and we did it all for the glory of love".......Mr. Miyagi (me-yah-gee)...........One person is laughing right now.........January 24 is going to be a big day for fellow Rilo Kiley fans...Jenny Lewis' first solo album and The Elected's (Blake's band consisting of mostly Rilo Kiley members) second album both release that day.......Would it be weird if we groomed each other the way non-human primates do?........Who doesn't want to be black?......I told a couple of the ladies at the office that one of the things I got going for me is innocence.......they laughed.......I meant that I can be seemingly innocent.........and apparently I "rubbed off" on my co-workers because "we weren't smart asses till you came around".......riiiiiiggghhhhhhttttt..........Now I'm just trying to come up with shit so that this could be the longest Random Thoughts ever............blah blah blah.........I don't like "lol"....I'm more of the "hahaha" type of typer.........Don't you hate it when you hear of events (like two people possibly hooking up that make for a funny situation) that you have to not let anybody know that you know about therefore causing you to not be able to make glorious humorous comments on it..........I miss you.............You should be here......or I should be there...........or something else.........WHATEVER.....

I think that was successful. I will be back with the continuation of the Guy Code Series, but in case I don't get back for a couple days...HAPPY THANKSGIVING.

You're My Favorite Living Human By Far

Ok so minutes after I posted that last post, and I'm already back.....because I read a comment somebody left and I have to respond. Here's the comment:

At what point does a person decide "I've got enough figured out in life that I can be with someone else"? Is it once they have had a job and lived on their own for a while (only after school is over)? From my experience with friends who have gotten married, it seems like where they are in figuring things out isn't the big issue-- it seems more that they want the same things in life- what they each dream of for the future go together well or are the same thing. i don't know...

Well, I don't think there's necessarily a point when that happens. Here's the twist in this whole mess. Finding someone is part of figuring things out. I just think in most cases it's a little better to have some other things figured out first, but if it comes go with it, however, ONLY if this person is totally open to you figuring things out. Just the same you have to be open to that person figuring things out, and both of you have to be ready and supportive of whatever you come up with.

As for the common dreams for the future I really like one part of what you said and that's the whole dreams go well together deal. I'd like to think I'd end up with someone who had dreams and goals that went well with mine rather than were the same. No offense to you same dreamers, but I think that's so boring. Give me somebody who has different deals that work well with mine yet still require work at getting it together. Actually I think many would agree with me. Who knows?

I'm spent. I'm going to a bar to even myself out.

Keep Sending Me Black Fireworks

What happens in Vegas gets written about by me...

So I decided to take advantage of the only internet time I'll probably have while I'm here. Anyway, I sort of feel weird because I was in the middle of posting really fun stuff to write about (the Guy Code series and whatever came along with that) but this trip is sort of getting in the way. When I get back I'll dive right back into those things, and of course write a little more about Vegas...

Anyway, last night I went to the taping of Earth to America which was fun. You can catch in on TBS this Sunday night. Highlight (or lowlight) was some conservative bitch booing and Bush bashers. Ummm helllooooooo.......it's a freaking comedy special about global warming!!! Why in the fuck would you go to that thinking "Oh these people will have so many good things to say about curious George"?...Lewis Black and Dave Attell were great...

More in a few days.

*edit* haha this might be the worst post ever. So many mistakes, but give me a break I'm working on little sleep and a nice hangover.

You Got Me Feenin'

Before I continue with the series there is something I want to touch on that is sort if bothering me…

In the last post (and another before) I wrote about how girls my age shouldn’t be involved in long-term relationships that started when they were teenagers. A big part of that being they need space to figure things out.

In one of my first posts, a small essay on the movie Garden State, I wrote about how finding oneself and figuring things out were bullshit excuses for leaving someone you love.

HUH? A little contradiction here, eh? Well, I did sort of explain, in the Garden State post, that if you truly love somebody you must have found yourself and figured things out more than you thought. The thing is teenagers have probably not found themselves and most definitely have figured close to nothing out so to enter in a serious relationship is just open to flaws. Plus, these dudes that these girls are with most likely are nothing but blocks to the girls growth, which is somewhat evident in the fact that they are still together (if you look at it through logical eyes).

An easier way to put all this, finding yourself and figuring things out is a good excuse to leave someone if they are stopping you from doing those things. If there is real love between you two it is possible to be together without being in each other’s way, but I’m going to go ahead and advise that for the most part figuring things out is probably better when you’re on your own.

Anyway, I’ll be back with more on the guy code.

You're Going To Lose That Girl

Okay. We’ve all heard of the Guy Code, an unwritten set of rules that exists among males. Rules such as:

Never go after a close friend’s sister.

Never go after a close friend’s ex.

Always make fun of a friend’s current relationship.

Never go after a guy’s girl.

So I decided to do a little series on the guy code where I will elaborate on and mostly give exceptions to some of the rules.

First…

NEVER GO AFTER A GUY’S GIRL

This seems like an obvious one. I mean it’s just not cool to do this for a few reasons. One being you wouldn’t really like it if some bloke was going after your girl. Also, for your sake, it’s not really good to go after a girl who is in a relationship. It’s sort of a matter of integrity. Plus, even if you succeed, healthy relationships rarely spawn from these situations. Anyway on to what I really want to talk about…

The Exceptions

This has the potential to be really long, or not. I’ll break it up into different possible situations.

Married – NEVER!!!!! Even if there’s this incredible thing going on between you and a chick you CANNOT ever go after someone who is married. If the guy is an absolute ass who beats her you help her to get the fuck out of that but you do not make a move on her. No exceptions.

Engaged – If you know that she’s getting into this marriage for all the wrong reasons, and that there is this obvious no-doubt-about-it thing going on between you two it MIGHT be okay to go for it.

Boyfriend/Girlfriend – Ah my favorite. If you’re a high school guy and you’re reading this, the answer is this rule of the guy code does not exist for you. Go ahead and go after any of the girls you know who have a boyfriend. Just be prepared for possible fisticuffs. If you’re a little older you have to take a few things into consideration. If a guy and a girl just recently hook up and are still trying to figure out if they really are cool together then back off. If they have been in a long relationship where they are pretty much almost engaged then all the “engaged” rules apply. If they’ve been together for a while but things seem to be going nowhere, it might be pretty safe. Now, if they have been together since high school you have something to think about. Here’s an excerpt of something I wrote a few months ago that kind of explains my thinking: I am speaking very generally and I know there are exceptions, but I've gone through the numbers a million times in my head and the results are conclusive; Girls my age should not be bogged down in long term relationships. The thing is, in your early twenties you are just getting to figure yourself out, and if you are in a long term relationship that means you were dating this person when you were a teenager who had no clue who in the world you were. The real problem is, with women especially, it's hard to break free from these relationships. There's this comfort zone that has been built that is just difficult to break away from. And here's another theory of mine that you shouldn't be comfortable; you should be PASSIONATE. So I think if a girl is in a relationship with some dude she’s been with since she was 17, I wouldn’t totally hold it against you if you felt justified to go after her. Just be ready for a lot of complications, which can be good especially for this girl who could probably use a bit of complications to finally get something stirring in her.

Anyway, I think I’m done here, but I sort of feel like I haven’t explained enough. We’ll see.

And I Wont Have To Worry About Me No More

So for whatever reason I got to thinking about myself in regards to relationships, and I started having serious doubts as to whether or not I’m a relationship type guy. The thing is I think I have too many features about me that are anti-relationship.

But (ha!!) then aren’t the good relationships the ones where the individual players compliment each other? So these anti-relationship features of mine could very well possibly have their own complimentary pro-relationship features.

I think way too much. Part of what makes me doubt that’d I’d be good at a relationship is I’d spend too much time analyzing it. So what if I was with a girl who didn’t let me think too much, a royal pain in the ass bitch who couldn’t keep her mouth shut, someone who would challenge me and keep me on my toes? I think that would be a good compliment. In fact, if I were with a quiet easy going chick I don’t think I would be able to handle it.

I’m a strong believer in independence/individuality, which can be very anti-relationship. Still, what if I’m with someone who believes in the same thing, a girl who let’s me do my own thing and does her own thing as well, a chick who knows that it’s the players that make the team not the team that makes the players?

There’s more but this is getting too personal…

The general lesson here is to look for someone who compliments you. I think most of us do this without even trying, but not all. For those who don’t just keep in mind “compliments” does not equal completes, fills a void, makes me feel better about myself, etc.

Eh.

Maybe You'll Be Good To Me

A friend had suggested that I write a little something on chemistry, and so I’ll give it a shot.

One major point I have about all this is, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO SHARE THINGS IN COMMON IN ORDER TO FIND CHEMISTRY. I think people in general put too much emphasis on shared interests. Of course, this is coming from a guy who promotes individuality like the governator promotes lame ass government reform that cause special elections that unnecessarily costs the state money. The thing is true chemistry between people goes beyond having things “in common.” See, I question people who explain that they click so well with a person because they have the same interests because…and here’s my next major point……..

CHEMISTRY IS INDESCRIBABLE. If you’ve ever heard or read me go on about “love” (I still don’t know who I’m quoting) this might sound familiar to you. You don’t have chemistry with someone because blah blah blah. You just have chemistry with someone. You don’t love someone because blah blah blah. You just love them. You might love blah blah blah about someone but that is not the reason you love him or her. You just do. You have chemistry with a person because it’s just there.

Now this doesn’t mean there aren’t people out there who are good at false chemistry. In fact we probably all are very good at this, mainly because it’s a nice feeling to click with somebody. We look for it even when it’s not there.

But really (I just keep looking for excuses to start sentences with ‘but’ and ‘and’) if you have to look for it, and this goes especially for the whole love deal, it’s not there. That doesn’t mean that it can’t be there. It just isn’t at that time.

And while we are speaking of the love phenomenon, if you’re asking yourself if you are in love with someone, and you had been dating that person for years, YOU DON’T AND NEVER WILL!!!!!!!!!!!

Awesome.

I'll Be Running Next To You

Those awkward, “should I/ Should I not?” periods have got to one of the more fun parts of the whole dating deal. These are the areas that spawn “I have got to write a screenplay just so I could put this scene in there” type of moments, because really when you’re asking yourself those questions, 95% of the time the answer is, “yes you idiot you should.” But really, aside from the reward of actually going for it, that awkward feeling is so great. I mean it’s right up there with knowing that a certain person you dig digs you back, but still having that little tiny shred of doubt. Am I the only person who loves these situations?