Tuesday, October 04, 2005

When You're Sliding Into First And You Feel Something Burst

I just received an email from somebody who will remain nameless. This is what happens when you don't have a fully functioning toilet (please do not continue reading if you don't appreciate good toilet humor):


I woke up this morning about 4 am with incredible stomach pains. It's
happened before so I knew exactly what it was. I tried my best to stick it
out and wait until in the morning to deal with it. But after about 5 min I
knew the pains weren't going away anytime soon. I had to deal with it and
there was only one way. I had to poo. I went to the bathroom and
fashioned a makeshift seat out of towels. Trying my best to not place the
towel where it could fall in (I didn't want the glorious job of fishing that
out of the bowl before or after the job was done) I sat there precariously
until I let the loudest fart I think has ever been known to man. Even the
trumpets at Jericho couldn't touch this bad daddy. Then it came, like
someone had shoved a hose down my throat till it came out the other end at
full speed. In 15 seconds flat I was done. Completely exhausted because
of the time and the events surrounding I turned on the water, flushed
twice, turned the water off again, then went to bed.
All of that to say, I think Ill go get a new toilet tonight.


HA!!! I can't stop laughing.

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