And The Oscar Goes To

I wish I could be happy. I wish I had something positive to write about, but it's hard. It's hard when you've been living off of hope as long as I have. You just get worn out. I try though. I put on the masks hoping that if I act happy I'll become happy. It's not working. I'm playful; 90% of the shit that comes out of my mouth are jokes, but it's all just bullshit.

And here I am turning this thing into a journal, but it's real life right? If there's one thing I want people to get out of this it's the sense of reality, and the reality is: happiness is hard. It is something you have to work at constantly. Over the weekend I got another shit hand dealt to me, too personal for me to talk about, and it just sucks. It just fucking sucks.

But at least Charlie Kaufman won an Oscar, and Natalie Portman was damn hot.

With This Ring

What is it about weddings that make you think way too much? When you sit there witnessing two people make one of the biggest moves of their lives you can't help but examine the moves of your life. Have I chosen the right career? Am I with the right person? or should I pursue a relationship? Am I taking the right risks? Will I ever figure it out? Will I ever be happy? Could I have done things differently? I wonder what she's doing. Will I ever get married? Do I really want to get married? Do I want a family? I wonder what she's doing. Can I change? Are my beliefs solid? What is my purpose? What is she doing?

What is it about life that makes me think way too much?

Without A Cause...Or Not

Rebellion is dying and it's just plain sad. We are living in a time where people are scared to talk; a time when the FCC is charging ridiculous fees for the most minor of offenses. Collectively we are putting too much power into the hands of the government rather than the people. All of a sudden it's okay to be lazy and pass on the responsibility. It's okay to be a remote controlled robot... No, it's not okay.

Rebellion is essential to a well run government. We need people to question Bush's policies; domestic and foreign. We need to question the (or any) war. We need to be the government of the United States of America. We absolutely have to be the people who form this country, the people who are this country. The responsibility is ours.

Do not let anybody tell you that you are being un-American by criticizing the government. You are supposed to. There's nothing more American. It's written in the Constitution, at least it should be, "Criticize or Die!"

I was speaking to a friend of mine who expressed to me her resentment towards her upbringing. She feels as though her beliefs, even after being accepted as her own, were forced on her; as if she had no choice to believe what she does. Her options were suck it up or feel the wrath. She sucked it up, but now she's in her twenties with no idea who she really is. This is a person in need of some rebellion ASAP.

This is a problem people. If we don't get together and rise up for whatever we have to rise up against, how do we form identity? Right now our identity is George W. Bush. That has to change.

If You Ever Need A Kato You Know Where To Find Me

A friend of mine emailed me expressing his surprise that I hadn't written anything about the movie, Garden State. OF COURSE I was going to write something about Garden State, and here it is.

By the way, the rule goes, "If the movie is out on DVD spoil away." So I'm basically going to be writing about the end of the movie. If you haven't seen it yet GO SEE IT, then read this. It is a great movie. If you don't love it you will at least like it a little.

Brief Synopsis (sponsored by Fruit of the Loom): Andrew Largeman (Zach Braff) returns home for his mother's funeral. In the days following he reacquaints himself with old friends and meets a quirky girl Sam (Natalie Portman).
After Largeman and Sam meet most of the scenes involve the two of them together and we get to see them fall for each other. In the final scenes we see the two sitting on some steps in an airport terminal. Sam is crying while Largeman tries to explain why he needs to go back to LA. He tells her that he is very messed up and that he needs to go figure things out. He explains that this isn't a period at the end of the sentence; its an ellipses. Largeman leaves Sam, and we see him in the airplane almost ready to depart, but before it leaves he gets off and finds Sam inside a telephone booth sobbing. He tells her that he is really messed up but that the one thing he does know is that he is in love with her and he's not going to let that just go. He says the last words of the film, "So what do we do now?" They kiss and embrace. Fade out. Credits

A lot of people were not very happy with the ending of the film. They thought it was too cheesy and typical. It is cheesy. It can't help but be cheesy, but I think the story had to end that way. The thing is from beginning to end we see Largeman go from numb pill popping nobody to somebody who is going through the motions of, well at the risk of adding more cheese, finding himself. Had he stayed on that plane there would have been no change there at all. It would have been the same old Largeman numb to the love that wanted him to go get the girl. Feeling real emotions was different for him and acting on them was just beyond him completely. We all have to go through that situation at least once in our lives. Do we stay on the plane, or do we get off and take the risk going for what our hearts want? I hope most of us get off the plane. This brings up another point, something that smacked me in the face the first time I saw the movie, especially considering what I was going through at the time. There is NO excuse for walking away from someone you truly want and love. "Finding yourself," and "figuring things out" is such bullshit. If that person is in front of you, that's one less huge thing to figure out, don't let it go. At least now you have someone to figure things out with, or support you while you are. "Finding yourself"Well if you're still finding yourself chances are you haven't really fallen in love. You may have come close, probably as close as you have to finding yourself, but you haven't gone all the way. How could you? You don't even know who you are to know who you love. In other words, if you really truly love someone take a step back and look at yourself, without even considering the other person, you are found. On a personal note, being someone who is in the middle of figuring things out (I had recently found myself) I am glad that there happens to be nobody in the picture, because I am damn busy, but if someone does come along and manages to penetrate this shield I have built around me I would not pass. So in the words of somebody I don't really like all that much, "Bring it!"

Oh, and do me a favor, humans. Get off the plane.

The Faces of Fake

Wouldn't it be nice if we all could just be real all the time? This place is filled with fake fake people and it's all our fault. It's a safety issue. We don't like to show too many people who we really are in order to keep them distant enough to were they can't hurt us. The problem is too many people don't allow themselves to be themselves so much that they start losing their sense of self altogether. Everyone, "The problem is too many people don't allow themselves to be themselves so much that they start losing their sense of self." If you didn't just say that there is seriously something wrong with you. Back to the lecture at hand...Soon you find yourself mimicking Jackie Chan standing at the edge of a cliff screaming, "Who am I?!?" So the goal of the day is to remember who you are and be that person, and at the same time let people be real to you.

And don't forget to take your vitamins.

Fear and Loathing in Orange County

In my freshman year of college I had to take a joke of an English comp class that revolved around "The American Dream." The best thing about the class, followed by how easy it was, was that we got to read Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas, by the great Hunter S. Thompson. Early this morning (or late last night whichever 2 am is to you) I did a check on any updates on my regularly visited sites to find the news that Hunter S. Thompson had committed suicide. The world of writers has lost someone special.

In other news...

Nothing

But...

I caught the movie Alex and Emma on HBO yesterday (see last post for justification). Brief synopsis: Alex falls for his stenographer, Emma, only to ruin it by getting caught having dinner with an ex. He realizes that Emma is the one he wants and tries to win her back. Emma then gets annoyed and tells him "If you care about me as much as you say you do then leave me alone." WARNING: You are about to see the result of angry typing, offensive words may come. What a pile of shit!!! That is just such a stupid thing to say to anyone. So you're telling me that I fell for a stupid selfish bitch who wants nothing but to be rid of me, and since her happiness should be the most important thing to me, seeing as though I'm nothing, I should go drown myself. Thanks for making me feel like an ass. I'll go now. Seriously if anybody ever says that to you, your response should be, "Well I did care about you until you said that. So I'm going to leave you alone now because you're stupid. While we're at it, could you make sure you leave me alone as well? Bye."

My Own Personal TiVo

Best news of the year!!! The coolest television show of today, Scrubs, has announced a release date for their season one DVD. The long awaited 4-disc set is due out May 17. You may pre-order it here on Amazon. Essay on why Scrubs is the so damn good coming soon. For now...

TiVo has got to be one of the best inventions in the history of ever. I am still fairly new to the glorious world of TiVo, but I am fast becoming a skilled user. Before I had TiVo I looked at it as a nice way to record what you didn't want to miss on TV and/or pause live TV so you didn't miss anything while you were going onesies or twosies. Great features those are, but the real beauty of TiVo is deeper. What TiVo does is gives you an excuse to watch just about anything that's on TV. Before you had to be way too strategic about your television viewing making sure that you watched programs of the absolute highest quality in that time slot. With a TiVo you should have those shows programmed for record leaving you with free time to go find whatever else might catch you in the TV world. It is a channel surfer's dream come true, and now you don't have to worry about getting caught watching crap. All you have to do is say, "Hey I have TiVo. I'm allowed." Stop feeling guilty about watching The Ashlee Simpson Show. Go ahead. Stand strong against Acid Reflux. Watch 3 Ninjas Kick Back, for the tenth time just because it's on. It is my belief that the main reason why shows like Desperate Housewives and The OC are only as huge as they are because of TiVo. Not to say that they aren't well written and well made shows just that half the people who watch them only ever caught the show in the first place because they had TiVo and they were allowed, me included.

Welcome

This is where I explain why I am doing this. Well there are at least two reasons. The first being that I am a thinker, an analyzer, an over-analyzer, and as those like me I am in dire need of an outlet for all these haunting thoughts. Well not really dire and not haunting. Just figured I'd throw in some sharp adjectives to add some dramatic flare. The second reason I'm doing this is, well, I'm bored, and writing is fun for me. Does any of this matter to you? Probably not. You are more likely looking for some sort of mission statement from me. So let me try to give you one:

Through this blog I plan to make commentary on this world and its current (or not so current) affairs including, politics, music, film and television, and pop culture in general, through my eyes. With that said, my goal is also to not take myself too seriously. If I do please feel free to slap me across the face. Just don't hit my nose. It bleeds easily.

Also, I do not plan on making this a journal, but knowing me it will be.